Tuesday, 6 November 2012

Caps

09:00

I have been suffering from blogger's block. I know. It's not pleasant. The thing is, in London, there's always something to do in the evening, whereas in the country there's practically nothing and so one has time to hone one's thoughts and mentally prepare oneself for one's oeuvre. Plus, it's been half-term and all that child micromanagement is very time-consuming. Plus Dolly has behaved in an exemplary manner over the past week.

Following my marathon telly catch-up session last night (X Factor and Downton) until 2am, I struggle out of bed to let Dolly out and feed her, and then snuggle back under the duvet to write an Indignant of Chelsea email to the head matron of The Manor about the mountains of stodge they tempt the poor girls with each day.

When I go downstairs, I discover that Dolly has been succumbing to her own mountains of temptation. She has ransacked her favourite pigeon hole, pulled out three hats and a glove, and decided my ironic flat cap along with Lily's red LA baseball cap are too good to pass over.



She is now in my very bad books.

I have a brilliant new money-making scheme however! I am writing an erotic bestseller!

Step 1: download samples of Fifty Shades trilogy, Bared to You and the like.
Step 2: baulk in horror and amazement at overwritten tediousness of content
Step 3: try and emulate.

10:45

Marvellous! I have my lead character: Nikita Parr, the bewitching, stilettoed Franco-Russian receptionist. Now for the older, devastatingly handsome man...


1 comment:

  1. I wish it were that easy! Good luck and let us know. Maybe throw in some sex toys and a good location!

    ReplyDelete